There are many ways, as couples try to mop up after an argument: The whispered excuses of Jason and Kate; for others, makeup sex, or several days of freezer, while no one speaks until it gradually thaws, but nothing is said, since things return to “normal”. If you are in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship, that is one thing. Sometimes you just need to know when it`s time to end it. But if we all gave up after every fight, everyone would be alone. So let`s say you`re in an otherwise healthy relationship and just get rid of a recent fight. Here are some options to bounce back after you`ve both decided that the fight is over. Containment is about maintaining differences of opinion in emotional bonds – where it doesn`t become an open war where everyone digs up the past to throw more wood on the emotional fire. This is where hurtful things are said and things can become physical, creating emotional or physical scars that do not disappear, but create more fear, resentment and food for future arguments. It`s never easy to know what to say to your partner after a big fight. Are you apologizing? Are you still talking about it? You make sure of each other, everything will be fine? As it really depends on the situation, what you do will be entirely on you.
But if it`s your goal to smooth things out and reach a compromise, there are great ways to do it. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing conversation, but there are a few principles they can use to help you find your way back after a fight. When it comes to something bigger than a betrayal, it may require more than a conversation. On the front-end is the way the argument unfolds. It is about balance and containment. The balance is that both partners need to feel safe enough to express themselves. It doesn`t work if there`s no balance – if one person dominates the conversation with rumors and bullies and cuts off the other person. Or when both partners close, or worse, stop posing problems. These couples keep superficial daily conversations, walk on eggshells and use distance to avoid conflict. Being in a relationship and never fighting with a partner is almost impossible.
Constructive criticism or healthy struggles help couples solve their problems and express their accumulated emotions, and thus address concerns that may otherwise cause devastating damage to their lives. But a lot depends on how a couple behaves after a fight and, most importantly, how they break the embarrassing silence after their argument. Here are some tips for starting a conversation with a partner after a fight. The courts are not a matter of courts, but of feeling criticized, or the feeling that the other person does not hear you and refuses your requests, or the feeling of being Cinderella, and the other person does not do his part of the work. Ditto for money. Bedtime? Different styles of education, a power struggle for parenthood or something else? Be curious: dig down, look for the biggest motive that makes the argument only the tip of the iceberg, and then have a conversation about the bigger things. If you and your partner are having trouble finding solutions that are acceptable to both parties, you can argue more often. Here is the best mantra for a successful reconciliation after a fight – forgive and forget. If you want to pick up the strings of a relationship after an argument with your partner, you must first learn to forgive and forget. And it`s only by doing this that you can help each other overcome your differences and strengthen your relationship. Also, it will be easy to talk to someone when you have forgiven them, won`t you? But you also have to think about forgiving yourself, because sometimes, after a fight, we are so involved in self-guiltyness and compassion that it becomes almost impossible to spread our hearts after the incident.